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Monday, 15 April 2013

4SignsThatLeadsToCheating - (4) LackOfAppraisal

Appraisal, a word that is commonly heard and exercised in cooperate environments and in businesses but not really in relationships. Appraisal simply means to assess your progress over a period of time and come out with the modalities needed to enhance the your future doings. (Copy and tweet).

Without the “knowledge” of your past progress, planning for the future wouldn’t be all that smooth. (Copy and tweet). We build in the future based on the foundations of the past.  It’s said he who forgets their past is bound to repeat the mistakes thereof. Relationships likewise need appraisal! I see relationship as a seed that is planted by two people who needs to tend it together. When one person fails to do their bit, chaos ensues. (Copy and tweet).

It is said that what most "new lovers" use to do when they first met is stopped or totally forgotten once they settle in the relationship. (Copy and tweet).  The cinema, picnic, walking hand in hand, long chats on the phones etc are sent into oblivion. They easily forget it was what they used to do that caused the love they are experiencing to blossom. Once we begin to take things for granted in the relationship, we lose the essence and the value of what we have. (Copy and tweet).

The challenge of our times demands that anyone desiring to keep their relationship should endeavour to constantly appraise. (Copy and tweet). It’s only by doing so that you get to know what is really working and what isn’t. What might have worked earlier on in the relationship might have lost its essence. Appraisal helps stops you from committing the mistakes that will kill off your desire for each other. (Copy and tweet).

She used to like flowers back then yet as the relationship progresses, you should be able to discern whether if  the “flower trick” works or not.  The fact that the gentleman used to like a particular food or music doesn’t mean he does anymore. (Copy and tweet). There has got to be a common platform for a discussion on how to keep the blossom in the relationship by carefully understanding the evolutionary needs of each person. (Copy and tweet).

Love is a meal served over the ages not something that happens instantly. In order to enjoy the meal, be prepared to understand the ingredients that were carefully chosen to cook it. (Copy and tweet).  The hustle and bustle of our times means many never look carefully anymore at the man or woman they professed to love. The times they are changing and so is the one in the relationship with you . With this change comes the demand to constantly assess yourselves. (Copy and tweet).

Can it be said without appraisal, you will soon forget who the person you are with is? (Copy and tweet).  Maybe by now you want to give up on the man or woman who you used to love a few years or months down the line. Do away with everything including the good, the bad and the ugly and begin appraising! Trust me, the changes will bring a turnaround in your relationship. Selah!

Here is a simple 3 minutes step to help you :-

A.  Assess where you are currently in the relationship.
B.  Be honest with what is working and what isn’t
C.  Map out a strategy on how to deal with what isn’t working
D. Accept the changes that have occurred

Talk About It -

A. Why do you think people don’t do appraisal in their relationships?

Joe Akuoko II

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