#My10CommandmentsOfRelationships ~ (2) RELATE TO YOUR KIND

A friend recently made an interesting remark; a fascinating joke which really makes sense within a certain context.  She said “birds of the same feathers confuse the owner”…something like a spoof of the original quote that says birds of the same feathers flock together. A great lesson can be learnt from this as I believe these birds flock together because the colour, design, weight and even the size of their feathers creates an identity they can relate to.  Relating to your kind becomes the rallying point that engenders unity and development. It beats my imagination when people say opposites attract. There might be but what does a shifty, mendacious and dishonest person have in common with an honest and hardworking individual? Realistically how can such characters attract? Often times we buy into the pressure of society and end up in relationships only to be casualties. I have never seen eagles fly with sparrows and neither have lions hunted with goats. God created all to relate to their kind for harmony and the achievement of maximum results.

The problem with many relationships is that the people involved are many at times on different wavelengths. When people operate strongly on different wavelengths, nothing in heaven or on earth will allow for serenity. They might try everything possible to be in tune with the opposite person but will end up failing miserably. Even musical notes have taught us that when the right cords are not used, they end up giving a bad sound: it’s called being in discord. Have you ever met someone you suddenly hit off with? Infact the closer you got to know them, the more you realised you have a lot in common. What was the feeling like? Now take a look at the vice versa look of the same situation, you will realise that taking your time to know your kind is the most profitable aspect of any relationship.

Relating to someone who understands your level of thinking, style, beliefs and passion creates a connection that is not easily broken.  Once you are in sync with your kind, you minimise time wasting and becoming a casualty. It also allows you to be yourself thus releasing enough energy to achieve the unachievable. Interestingly, this concept is now being practised by dating agencies who request that you fill a form with all your likes and dislikes in order to be matched with your kind.  I have been in a relationship where I had to struggle even to please the person. The individual never appreciated anything I did. Even when I had gone out of the way to make them feel loved and appreciated, I ended on the wrong side of their books. After a long and careful analysis, I found out that interestingly, we had nothing in common. I love reading, writing, being creative whilst the person liked everything opposite. It took me four solid wasted years to realise it was time to move on.

I experienced the same when a few years ago I tried to change jobs. I was working for a multi-national company in charge of their foot ware department. The down side was that my position wouldn’t allow me to go to church on Sunday. I loved the job but had to leave I but made a wrong decision going to work for a small and somehow insignificant company compared to my former job. Wow! I hated the place of work; very claustrophic compared to my old one, didn’t like the manager who I knew I was over qualified to work under and started making some grave mistakes. I could list a gamut of ills I experienced whilst being there. Why this story of my life? Simply because I could have stayed with my kind and negotiated but left without realising I was operating against this commandment. I could go and tell you also about my business endeavours that ended badly due to the wrong kind of relationship. Got into doing business with the wrong relational advice in an environment and ended up losing everything from my money to the stocks.

To end this, Jesus made a profound statement to emphasize and give impetus to what am trying to convince you to believe. He said “father all that you gave me I have been able to keep except the son of perdition”.  In the light of this commandment, I believe what Jesus was teaching is this; that which is not in sync with you will only hurt and subsequently leave you but that which is your kind will stay and be a blessing to you.

Question:-Do you believe relating to your kind has advantages? Do you have a personal experience to share? Have you lost something or ever been hurt by relating to the wrong kind?

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Yours In His Service

JOSEPH AKUOKO II